So...Do You Get It NOW?
by Rve Oubli
Summary: Misty and her lover get married, and Misty has to explain 'The Pidgeys and the Beedrills' to him-- in other words, the facts of life...But trust me, what happens isn't what you might think! PG-13 for squicky-ness and sex. Anyone who reviews will be thanke


" ****

*Thank Yous* ***C.D.**, you're the best editor in the whole wide world, thank you so much for your help!Luv ya lotz, kiddo!

*Euterpe, thank you so much for reading this over and telling my what you honestly think! Also, check out Euterpe's fics! 

http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=directory-authorProfile&userid=27737

*Dark Hope, what can I say? Even though I haven't know you very long, you're like a sister to me. Thanks for being there for me! Check out Dark Hope's fics!

http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=directory-authorProfile&userid=35975

****

*Dedications*: This is dedicated to all the Misty/Ash people! Hope ya like it! J 

****

*Disclaimer* As much as I want Brock 'The Rock's' hot ass, I don't own it, or Pokémon. Lucky Satoshi Tajiri…Wish I'd thought of Pokémon…Then I'd be famous and wouldn't have to put freaking disclaimers! Oh well…I can always dream about them…

****

*Note:* Sorry if the HTML gets messed up-- I'll repost if it does.

****

__

So…Do You Get It Now?

By _Oublié Rêve (a.k.a. Qtpi123)_

Edited by C.D. (as much as he hates recognition, I'm putting this anyway!)

"...So…Do you get it _now_?" Misty asked, sighing as she counted the number of times she had crammed an entire lesson in Sex-Ed into the brain of her numskull husband on her wedding night. 

His big, clueless eyes stared blankly up at her. 

"Auh!" she cried, bringing her raging fists down on his head, banging them again and again. His short, pudgy arms reached up to touch his hair, rubbing the sore spot and moaning. 

"Well if you didn't want that to happen, you'd have listened to me, now wouldn't you?" she fumed. She stopped. 

What am I saying? she thought. _This is the love of my life. I'll never, ever find anyone else like him. _The two, Misty and her love, had met years ago, when they both had a great passion for the creatures dubbed 'Pokémon.' 

Misty kissed his head lightly. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," she said reluctantly, as she was stubborn and not used to admitting she was wrong. 

He grinned stupidly at her. 

"Now, are we going to do this, or not?" Misty inquired. 

His eyes widened to their full capacity as she pulled off her shirt. He racked his brain for words, but could find none. 

And there she stood, naked in front of him. 

"Well, aren't you going to say anything?" she asked impatiently. "What, no 'Misty, you're so sexy and beautiful and I love you more than anything'?" she sneered at him. "Well, fine!" she huffed, responding to her own comment and flopping down on the bed. 

She sat for a few minutes, then turned around. "Oh, I can't stay mad at you, you're just too darn cute!" she said, kissing him again, then tousling his spiky black hair. 

His look of confusion remained. 

"Okay, I'll give you another chance," Misty said, smiling at him happily. "You see, when a man and a woman, or a boy and a girl, are in love, they sometimes have irresistible urges..."

****

* * *

Misty sat on the floor, still naked as a jaybird, continuing her lecture. "...And that's how a baby is made!" she finished triumphantly, her cheeks flaming as red as her hair. 

__

I bet no other wives had to explain about the 'Pidgeys and the Beedrills' to their husbands, Misty thought scornfully. _No. I have to stop thinking about this so negatively. He's my husband and I love him. Though it was an odd ceremony..._ she thought, recalling the wedding that had taken place nearly twenty-four hours earlier. 

****

Flashback

The minister had looked at her lover strangely. "Um, are you sure you want to marry _him_?" he asked. Misty glared at him, patting her future hubby's hand. "Are you prejudiced or something?" she retorted. The minister quickly shook his head, noticing that Misty was making moves to draw out a Pokéball. "Then continue with the ceremony," she said through clenched teeth.

****

End Flashback

And now Misty stared at her husband_. _

If only my prissy sisters could see me now, Misty thought bitterly, recalling that her sister's choices of husbands weren't much better than her own choice. Two married doctors, and the other, a lawyer, and the three of them hardly ever saw their husbands. 

I guess the Waterflower family doesn't have a good marriage record, she said to herself, thinking of her parent's divorce, and their parent's divorce, and probably their parent's parent's divorce. _Well I'm gonna make mine work!_ she persisted. 

She looked over to her husband, who was now staring blankly at her, waiting for her to take action. 

"Now," she said aloud. "Maybe we should start with foreplay," she commented, half talking to her husband, half to herself. Her head snapped to him. "You do remember what foreplay is, right?"

He shook his head no.

"What about sex?"

He paused, then shook his head no.

"_Anything _at all?"

He shook his head a third time.

Sighing, she keeled over on the bed. "You're a horrible husband!" she sobbed into the tacky flowered sheets.

He shrugged.

Misty looked up, her eyes brimming with tears. "You don't care, do you?" she demanded. "This whole marriage is a joke to you!"

He shrugged again. 

"Ugh, that is it! I renounce men, ducks, marriage, and makeup forever!" And with that, she stomped out of the room, forgetting she wore no clothes.

"Psy-yi-yii?" The yellow duck smacked himself on the forehead, then immediately winced, forgetting he was prone to headaches.

_Dumb bitch,_ he told himself. _Doesn't she know I have a degree in Quantum Physics from an Ivy League school?_

****

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sorry about all the different colors…HTML fascinates me. J Anyway, review if you want to, and don't if you don't want to. I hope you liked my fic, anyway! 

****

*Please note: I sincerely apologize if you were freaked out or anything.


End file.
